Inner game: Reprogramming Yourself

If you’re not already aware this, inner game is possibly the most important part of self-improvement. Everything you do, everything you say, and the way you act all revolves around inner game.

Inner game is your belief system. In order to fix your problems you have to go directly to the source. This doesn’t mean necessarily learning and new technique or routine – but re-programming your beliefs and the way you look at things.

As you will soon find out once you start to look at things properly your whole view will shift. Things like approaching that were once difficult and scared you now require virtually no thought. You will find that you can walk up to any group of people, men, men and women – it doesn’t matter.

Your quest for a pickup line or a magical routine or opener will vanish. You will not be on a never-ending hunt anymore. It will be clear to you that how you carry yourself, your intentions, and the value you provide will do an adequate job of opening for you.

Let’s now take a look at a few key areas of inner game.

Number one: masculinity

This is about being a man right to your core. This is about accepting your intentions, your desires, and the truth that you are a man.

A lot of men tend to hide the fact that they’re trying to do something like meet a new woman for example. They try to sugarcoat it or hide behind indirect openers and lines. Using routines to help trying convey interest while not demonstrating anything themselves. This is not being masculine this is not aligning with your true intentions as a male.

In order to accept yourself as a masculine man you need to accept a few things:

• You are attracted to beautiful women
• You are not ashamed of your desires as a man
• You will act in alignment with your values and beliefs
• Your desires may be self-serving but they’re not wrong
• You are a man and you will conduct yourself as such

Number two: truth

Truth is an important part of inner game and until you’re truthful with yourself you will never be successful. Being truthful is about living honestly, honesty with yourself and honesty with others.

A lot of the time men get hung up on things like approaching, approach anxiety, openers, and routines; however, these tend to be Band-Aids or temporary solutions and don’t actually address the underlying issue. The underlying issue is you are not being truthful with yourself.

To give you an example, would you consider it truthful if a man wanted to approach a woman but did so in a passive unassuming way so that she didn’t know he was actually interested change that?

No, I didn’t think so.

You would probably agree with me that it’s far more truthful to approach and put your intentions on the line. This will be used as a screening process, your intentions will be conveyed right off the bat, and you will very quickly learn whether she is interested in you or not.

Inner game and being true to oneself is the ability to act on your desires – that is the truth.

Number three: confidence

Inner game as it relates to confidence is accepting who you are. But what is confidence?

Firstly, nobody is born with confidence. Confidence is something that is developed over time. It is an accumulation of your successes, failures, and your beliefs on how the world works.

If I told you you are an attractive male would you believe me? If you did believe me it’s probably because you have the belief that you are attractive. This would have been reinforced by an accumulation of your successes and failures with women, engaging and in life.

However, if you disagreed with me it’s probably because of your preconceived notions. These notions could regard various points in your life where people have told you you are not attractive. You could have been rejected or told that you are ugly – this is enough to deter many men and make them believe they are not attractive.

Confidence is expressed both verbally and non-verbally. The core of confidence is generated non-verbally through body language, eye contact and vocal tonality. You can say something that is extremely attractive and confident but if it’s delivered in a week closed off manner it will not be attractive at all.

As you can see confidence stems from not only your successes and failures but how those successes and failures have affected the way you express yourself.

In order to reprogram yourself, you must start your very foundation. Talk positively to yourself, not negatively. If you find yourself saying “I’m not good enough” or “she’ll never be attracted to me” take a second to think about why you’re thinking this way. Assess the good qualities that should have and the amount of value you can give to someone’s life.

Your ability to be attractive, to give value, to be desired all stems from your core beliefs and who you are. Becoming masculine is about accepting and promoting your core desires. Being truthful is about listening to yourself and acting in line with your intentions. Confidence, will grow through trial and error and re-framing your current beliefs.

There is no magic bullet this one guys. True, lasting change takes time and work. Recognize the aspects of your life you need to work on and take action.